Is this really all there is to it?

Last week a friend in Romania emailed me an article recently published in a Romanian newspaper. It describes the results of a research study performed by a group of American psychologists. I usually take these things with a large pinch of salt (which means I nearly ignore them) but this one intrigued me.

I have translated the article from Romanian into English. You can read it below.

"A sane individual cannot be in love longer than 2 years

The research work undertaken by American psychologists from the Californian High Research Institute showed that love is influenced by genes. Some statistics were compiled which could play the role of a guide book for couples, in their attempt to anticipate the fate of their relationship.

One week. This is the minimum time of an incipient exaltation period, according to the psychologists. The individual falls in love within 4 to 6 hours but, as they find out details about the object of their love, they relax, reaching neutrality in 7 days, or even amazement: “What did I see in him / her?” type of question arises.

1 – 4 months. The average period for adolescent loves and affairs started not as much as a consequence of a crushing passion but more as result of favourable circumstances. However, the psychologists maintain that, in these cases, one of the partners usually puts an abrupt end to the relationship (on shallow grounds), while the other one suffers for another 6 to 8 months, considering themselves “victims”.

5 months – 1 year. These are the relationships in which both partners are very much in love but there are complications: either they are married (to someone else), or they are very young and have issues with their parents, or they have jobs that stimulate their appetites for a career to the detriment of the love relationship. In most such cases, the partners separate based on mutual consent, even though one of them seems to suffer more.

1 – 2 years. The psychologists’ sentence is firm and annoying: love does not last more than 2 years. What follows is routine, attachment, stable affection, dependence, laziness, moral rigor (in case of marriages) and many other inertia related behaviours. Many people throughout the world protested against this sentence but, upon a close and sincere self analysis, they will realise that the psychologists are right.

The famous “lifelong loves” are due, in the specialists’ view, to pathological complications: obsession, delirium in virtual world, psychosis, emotional instability. In other words, only the loonies can keep the intensity of the feeling unchanged for a lifetime. This does not mean, however, that a couple that resists in time is ailing – in this case, the affection took much more complex (or less intense!) forms which cannot be defined as love”.

This seems to be a scientific response to my earlier “butterflies in the stomach” ramblings … A very sad and unfair one, what else can I say. That’s why I’ve just decided I don’t trust it.